My Better Half

So I have told you about my three little darlings. So I figured I need to move on to my sweetie.

Mmmmm, where to begin…….Well he is a wonderful, outgoing, passionate, loveable man.

But who is he really?

-Well for starters he likes to rile up the kids when he gets home, get them good and crazy before bedtime. He has a little child inside him, the doctors say if they remove it, he’ll die.

-He drinks from the tap, no ice. (this is a wierd phenomenon to me)

-He loves chocolate covered peanuts and movie theatre popcorn

-He scares easy. (this one is particularly fun bc I get to jump out and scare him a lot)

-He loves sports more than me :) (Im only a little kidding)

-He wears his dress socks with his gym shorts

-He cannot dress himself. It’s similar to dressing a child. There are times in the morning where he will wake me up just to see if something matches (If you know me, you probably know how much I value my sleep, I’ve killed people for less). Sometimes I contemplate setting his clothing out for him the evening before so as to fend off any bickering about the fact that brown shirts don’t go with black pants or that striped pants and plaid shirts clash in the early morning hours.

-He texts me important information, the kind you generally prefer to hear in person or by phone or in my case not at all. Two weeks ago he texted me that he was in a car accident. What the huh?
Then just last week he texted me that he smashed his brand new iphone in the car door. (Don’t even ask) Ok so both of these things fall into the bad news category…..what’s next?

“I quit my job today.”

“I ran over the dog………sorry.”

Texting should only be used for non serious stuff. Here are some examples that I use and you should too.

“Who is #23 and why are they inspecting my jeans?”

“If people from Poland are called poles, why aren’t people from Holland called Holes?”

“I don’t feel like you take me seriously.”

“Why don’t you ever text me back?”

“I wished I liked chicken salad”

“I had to take out the trash today bc you forgot, you're lucky I didn’t get hurt.”

All this to say-He really is my BETTER half. I'm better for knowing him.